Last night we had friends over for a last hurrah before our big trip. It was a nice relaxing night where we stuffed our faces, enjoyed some laughs and had fun watching the little ones play. As the last guest was leaving, (Lauren), she gave me a hug and I started to cry. Finally, I cried! I mean, I've cried over this before but at that hugging moment...wait....more tears are filling my eyes as I type...okay...at that moment I saw flash in my head Jeffrey being Jeffrey. Memories of him playing baseball, shooting hoops, kicking the soccer ball and anything else in his way (including Cooper or Jack), whacking slapshots with the hockey stick, taking double tubbies with him and Jack splashing each other and plotting together to soak mom, making a water slide out of our Fisher Price slide and our $9 blow up pool, tackling daddy and Jack while they crack up...etc. This was what I finally thought about. I realized that in 4 days, it all ends for quite a while. In 4 days my big boy, my 3 1/2 year old will undergo a serious surgery followed by intense pain and he probably won't understand why.
Thank God for my rock, Jamie. He always reminds me what a strong kid Jeffrey is and how tough we can be as a family to be there for Jeffrey. As wild, crazy, out of control energetic Jeffrey can be, maybe this will help him become more self-aware.
I truly believe that God has a plan for each and every one of us. Jeffrey is our boy, short leg, 9 toes and all :) We wouldn't trade him for the world. He is such a special boy and he will get through this with an amazing attitude.
I'll end with what he said last night while playing hockey with dad. Jamie: "Jeffrey, can you go give mommy a hug?" Jeffrey: "Why she cryin'?" Me: "Because I love you." Jeffrey wipes my tears and says, "Mommy, I need you to not cry. We need friends to play and be happy." Well, there you have it. The selfish little guy just wanted a third hockey player! haha
I felt the same way. Just thinking about how active and fun Jeff is ALL the time and how he is not going to be that way for a while made me cry too. But he is such a strong boy and with all the support from family and friends we will ALL get through this together!!! We love you guys so much :)
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Someday I know we'll be watching Jeffrey doing something- swinging a bat for the Phils or shooting hoops for his college team during March Madness or representing his country at the Olympics, whatever- and we'll hear the announcer say, "You've got to hear the history of this Schwantes kid...."
ReplyDeleteThe force is strong with this one. No worries. He'll recover much faster than you think. Love going to all of you.
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